Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Expectations and Deep Breathing

We received our Formative exam result back yesterday.
To recap, we didn't have mid-semester exams, unlike other courses at other universities. So to replace it, we had an exam that did not count - i.e. meant to be used as a measuring tool to see how large your knowledge base was.
I got back my exam results, and, on counting, I scored 54%. Which was a pass. It's about this stage that I see that there is no comparison with high school results; with the kind of work I was doing, I could easily expect 80% or more (I didn't do any revision for the exam, but did do continuous work during the mid-semester), but I'm wondering how to broach this result to my over-expecting parents. I can envision the scenario:
"Mum, dad, I passed my first medical exam!"
"How did you go?"
"Umm 54 percent. I beat heaps of people though..."
"What was the top mark?"
"Oh it was horrible. Really hard test. I think it was 65% or something"
"You must study harder. Your grade is not smart. You should have got much better."
"But it was a really hard test."
"Nothing is impossible. I told you those games are a distraction. Maybe you should stop tutoring as well."
"But........."
I was pretty content with my result, relative to our cohort, because marks are fairly meaningless when you don't have comparison results. Looking at the bigger picture though, this mark doesn't make me feel like I'd be a competent doctor in the future, and that really worries me. So study I shall, now. Or tomorrow. Maybe next week.

On another note, we had ICMs today, and this week we focused on respiratory problems, mainly coughing/shortness of breath. For ICM tutorials, we usually get a booklet for the specific tutorial on vUWS (virtual uws, or our online resources/lecture notes hub) to print out - however my group fell out of practice of printing those booklets due to lack of usage. Next week, however, we might change, since we never touched on respiratory symptoms before. I came to realise that most symptoms had many basic questions overlapping, such as when did it start, describe the symptom, and things that made it worse and/or better. Our patient today was a picture of many elderly people in the Greater Western Sydney region; a frail old lady living on a pension with barely any savings. We seem to encounter many smokers in Blacktown hospital (my allocated hospital for clinicals) and she was another one, who suffered from emphysema, most likely due to smoking but also a pre-existing tendency towards it. It was sad to see that although she stopped smoking more than a decade ago due to her parents suffering from the same problem she has now, her daughter hasn't. Whether that is a case of young people feeling invincible or that the addictive nature of smoking is such that it can defeat something as powerful as your mother suffering from emphysema, I'm not sure; but I do know that smoking is a massive plague on health resources, and especially in the GWS area, for some reason. At any rate, tomorrow I'll be facing another interview of a different sort - a John Flynn Placement Program (JFPP) interview, to be precise. So I'm off for the day, to just do a little bit of preparation for that and try to do some study.

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